


O Ineffable Tree

by siephilde42



Series: Siephilde's Good Omens Drabbles & Ficlets [6]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: A bit of angst in here from the tree's perspective, Christmas Fluff, Crowley's Relationship with Plants, Don't copy to another site, Established Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), M/M, Star Wars reference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-25 05:01:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21630559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siephilde42/pseuds/siephilde42
Summary: Crowley plans to chop off a tree in the woods for their first Christmas as a couple. He regularly goes to the tree to yell at it, and on Christmas Eve he goes into the woods to fetch the tree.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Siephilde's Good Omens Drabbles & Ficlets [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1428127
Comments: 14
Kudos: 54





	O Ineffable Tree

By mid-November, Crowley had decided on a certain tree. This tree and none else for his angel and him. He wanted their first Christmas as a couple to be perfect. So the tree had to be perfect, too. "Stand up straight", he hissed, his hand hovering over one of the trembling branches. "If you don't, I'll scorch you with hellfire. And don't even think about losing needles." After his sermon, Crowley stood up and put an obfuscation circle around the fir tree. _(Nobody else will be able to see the tree.)_ "See you soon", he said, humming a melody while leaving the woods.

*

"Where is it you're going every Tuesday morning?", Aziraphale asked.

"Hm?"

"Whenever I wake up on Tuesday morning, your side of the bed is empty. That's the only morning you get up before me. And you always return about one hour later. So it seems you have ... some sort of appointment? Should I be worried?"

"No, no", Crowley assured, putting both hands on Aziraphale's shoulders, smiling at him. "Nothing to worry about."

"So... it has nothing to do with ... down below?" The last part of the sentence was merely a whisper.

"Good G... someone, no. It's just something I have to check regularly, and because I'm a creature of habit, I'm doing it the same time every week. It's stupid. I should have told you."

Hearing this, the angel relaxed a bit. "Oh. Okay. What's that about?"

"It's a surprise, actually. A _good_ one."

Finally, Aziraphale smiled. "Well, that's all right then."

*

"What did I tell you about your posture?", Crowley grumbled, causing the tree to lift its branches. "That's better. Remember what I told you."

*

"Would you like to go to the Christmas market?", Aziraphale asked.

"Oh. Southbank Centre?", the demon replied.

"Yes, that's what I was thinking of", Aziraphale said, his eyes sparkling.

Some time later, they were strolling along the chalets at the river.

"You really need to stop buy things, angel. Or let me at least help carry them."

"So that you can take a peek? It was hard enough to get you to take a walk to the other end of the market. It's not that heavy, mind you."

Crowley chuckled. "Well. Let me get you something to drink at least."

"That would be wonderful, dear. Some mulled wine perhaps?"

"On it, angel."

Shortly after, Crowley put a cup into Aziraphale's free hand (he tried not to think too hard about what was in the package Aziraphale had put under his arm in order to free it. He hoped that it wasn't fragile).

"Thank you, dear. As I always said, you're, deep down, a really nice person."

"Shut up", Crowley said, pulling Aziraphale closer to caress his face with his free hand. "I love you."

"I know", Aziraphale replied and closed the distance between their lips.

*

"It's almost time", Crowley huffed, his breath visible in the cold air. "No failures on the last mile, you hear me?" He bent down to check for damage in the trunk. "Looking good, I must say. Looks like you'll escape the hellfire after all." He gave the tree one last scrutinising look. "Doesn't mean you will escape the axe, of course. After all, that is what you're for." Afterwards, he could have sworn that he had heard something like a gasp, but he decided that it must have been his imagination.

*

"I don't get it. I mean, presents are nice and all that, but the main thing about Christmas is the message, isn't it?", Aziraphale scoffed, throwing the newspaper on his reading desk. "When you look at all the ads and the like, it sometimes seems that the humans are completely forgetting that aspect of Christmas."

"Yeah. 'Be kind to each other'. Whatever", Crowley replied without looking up.

*

"So, here we are. It's the morning of Christmas Eve. End of the line for you, my tree fellow", the demon murmured. "Say your good-byes to your friends." He put his axe down, admiring the snow on the tree. "I'm sure he'll like you", he determined, picking up the axe again. _("Be kind to each other.")_ He frowned, hesitating. _("As I always said, you're, deep down, a really nice person.")_ Cursing, he gave a frustrated swing, just hitting air. "Very well", he sighed, miracling the axe into a shovel with one snap of his fingers.

*

"Oh! It's lovely! It looks perfect", Aziraphale exclaimed. "So green and lush. Can I give it a name?"

"Can you give it a... Sure, angel. Whatever."

"How about Felicitas? Ms Fir, first name Felicitas."

Crowley groaned. "Name it what you will."

"I see you didn't chop her off", the angel pointed out.

"Yeah. I'm planning on replanting it... her after Christmas", Crowley replied.

"How nice. Should we open the presents?", Aziraphale asked.

*

"I cannot believe you got me an angel sculpture", Crowley chuckled. "And a shawl with wing patterns."

"Well, you like them, don't you?"

"You bet I do", the demon replied, pressing a kiss on the angel's cheek. "Let's go to bed?"

"Yes, it's quite late, my dear. Let me just clean up in the kitchen really quick."

"Using a frivolous miracle, you mean", Crowley laughed.

"Well, nobody is counting anymore, so..."

"Yeah", Crowley murmured, thinking of his miracle in the woods. He sighed, taking off the shawl. "Hmm."

"I'm done", Aziraphale called out to him from the kitchen. "I'm going to bed."

"Be there in a second, angel", Crowley replied while draping the shawl around the tree. "Merry Christmas, Felicitas."

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> The Christmas market scene was inspired by this wonderful art: https://twitter.com/thistleartsonly/status/1200686525417185280?s=21
> 
> Wishing you all a lovely Christmas/holiday season <3


End file.
